Because our thinking is often separated from the mind of God, we gasp for this love externally. We believe we can feel complete through our work or relationships or financial gain. Those last for only so long before we end up on a cycle of ups and downs, never knowing which way things will go.
And what surprises me as I grow spiritually is that I feel (more like acknowledge) God's love the most when I am still. Not when I'm busy trying to fulfill whatever mission I believe I'm to fulfill. Rather, it's when I am just being -- without performing and grasping and jumping up and down. When I am at rest. In silence. Still.
Those quiet moments of being is when my heart reminds me, the most, of who and Whose I am. I breathe and can hear my true self saying, "Yes, this is how God feels inside of me," and something changes. I'm no longer longing for anything. No longer adding some accomplishment or material goal on my to-do list. My heart, in that moment, is complete, and in that space there is nothing else needed.
It is a paradox of sorts. Our lives become a distraction from fully living. Our loves become a distraction from the essence of Love. But in allowing ourselves to be wrapped in God's presence we realize we are loved and whole. It is in silence and being that we can feel the presence of God unlike when we are hustling and bustling. There's this "third space" within us where God already is but we don't notice because we are consumed with more "important" things.
I have to catch myself at times. I have a tendency to want to do and create. I am constantly coming up with something new to try. I wake up often wanting to see if someone has responded to an email or to start writing. But I also know that what's most important is my time with the one who creates the path and who loves me in a way others cannot. So, I'm learning to rest, to find the garden in my heart and rest there remembering that the world and its busyness will be there when I return.
I used to think meditation and especially Centering Prayer were overly complicated. It required too much thought to not think, let alone effort. And for what? To be silent? I struggled with that. But, then I realized they're methods of opening yourself to experience and draw closer to Ultimate Love. When our mind thinks there are other things more important than all of God, then some of God that is drawing near is pushed away. What we are longing for isn't of material wealth, it is spiritual wealth. Our spiritual wealth. Our true, whole self.
I don't know any other way that God can show us Love. God is Love. We are created in that image. Once we embrace our true selves and stop following the desires of our ego we will see God "face to face." As we continue on the journey, let's practice love in a radical way. A love that allows us to know we are loved just for being created in the image of God. Let's allow that love to work its healing power, and then use that love to bless and transform the lives of others. Why not?